Luftpost [minutelovestory #45]

Posted by on Apr 18, 2013 in minutelovestories | No Comments

I folded the paper into thirds and slid it into the envelope. Airmail’s delay was disappointing. For each day of transit, I crossed off the calendar with a black magic marker, miraculously deleting the days that I promised not to think of you. To not think of you was just to think of you in resistance. What trickery. This game felt worse than loathing you for leaving. There was ample room for analysis in my desperate drawings of clawing and scraping. de Kooning would have been embarrassed by the images I created, wrathful and sensate. But I only made them for you. I kissed them like little babes and sent them overseas, to you, their terrible parent who does not want them. My words underneath were not a caption. Wie wagst du mir das antun? Ich weiß jetzt, dass Ihre Liebe nicht stark genug gewesen zu ertragen haben. Ihr habt mir einen Gefallen tun. Du hast mich von der weiteren Herzschmerz gespeichert.

This morning, like all others, is cold. You’d laugh at the necessary layers of clothing I wear. It often takes me ten minutes to get dressed. If you were here, we could race. I would let you win.